Run For Something

   It's been a long and difficult week. During times like these I turn my focus inward and use my running as a way to bleed off the bad stuff. Running's always been there for me during times like this and I'm thankful that I have it to lean on. It makes me wonder what people who don't run do?

   The news about my mom isn't good. The tumor or node is located in a position that makes it too dangerous to remove. The doctors said what she needs is a full lung removal. Unfortunately my mother's 50 years of smoking make this option impossible. If done this would tax her single remaining lung beyond what it could handle. The only option at this point is radiation and chemotherapy. Both something that her and I are quite familiar with. 25 years ago it was also the only option for my dad's lung cancer. You're lucky if you haven't had to watch someone go through these treatments. It's incredibly difficult on the patient. But cancer treatment's come a long way during that time and we're hopeful. By the end of next week we should know what stage the cancer's at. Lots of changes to come in the future, for all of us. 

   Instead of wallowing in this terrible news I've decided that I'm fucking really fed up with cancer. Now both of my parents have had it, I've had it and countless other family and friends. It's something that's been around a long time and it needs to be eradicated as soon as possible. When you consider how long it's been affecting the human race it's incredible that we haven't discovered a cure as of yet. 

   As you know I've been working hard and am making a really great comeback from my back injury. But I'm far from being pain free. I still have some slight spinal shifting. I'm almost back running paces that I want to be, but not fast enough yet. I've been considering trying to survive running my hometown marathon in the Fall. But to be honest up until this week, wasn't sure that I actually could. Well, if there's anything else that I typically do when the chips are stacked against me it's put my head down and push on through. It's a skill that only runners truly come to master. So this entire year I'm going to be running and racing everything that I can in honor of my mom. I'm not sure how exactly yet, but I'm also going to do some sort of campaign to raise some money and awareness too. It's my own personal war where I'll be throwing up my middle finger to cancer every chance that I get.

   I ran my first double digit long run today since August 24th of last year. Holy shit that's a long time! It went really well and as I was plodding away at my gym I thought about two things: how much I hate doing long runs on treadmills and how it feels good to run for my mom, my friends, everyone who's had cancer. That got me thinking. Whether you realize it or not all of you who run do it for a cause. That cause may be something self serving like you want to look better in your bikini this summer at the beach. It may be because your doctor told you that you need to shed some weight to become healthier. Or it may be for someone, a cause or organization. This is important and unlike other sports, makes runners some of the most amazing athletes around.

   As I approached mile eight with another two to slog through my thoughts drifted to why I was doing this to myself. Besides what I've already mentioned there are so many other reasons that I run. The list is too large to put here. I looked around and all that I could see were other runners around me looking determined to finish their runs for their own important reasons. Being part of that group is inspiring and shows how much of running can be a mental game. Your body can take quite a beating as long as your mind provides the proper motivation. 

   The treadmill finally clicked to ten miles and I was drenched in the sweat of satisfaction. I'd made it and proven to myself that like life, when things get difficult look inside yourself and realize how powerful you truly are and use that to accomplish the impossible. Find your cause, harness it and use it. It's the best fuel out there and it doesn't cost a penny. 

   I'd personally like to thank everyone who commented or shared the post about my mom. It was touching that so many people cared. All of you are such amazing people and the world is better for it! Live your life, take chances, believe in the impossible and run for something...