I've always been the type of person who chooses to remember the past more fondly than I probably should. Most times this isn't a wasted effort because I'm the type of friend that you can call at 3 AM for help & I'll be there in 15. Loyalty isn't lost on some people. I'm not perfect and I'm smart enough to realize that nobody else is either. There's times when people are going to be disappointing. Those special moments may not always live up to your expectations. But ultimately it's the positive things that I seek to remember.
Sometimes though embracing the past isn't such a good thing. Running is a prime example of this for me. Yes, I have been what I consider a successful runner. No, I haven't won any Olympic races. The professional running community will most likely never hold the nickname of "Sandman" up there with the same reverence as "Pre". But I've ran quite a bit, seen a lot of cool things, met a ton of fine people and raced my ass off.
I've always been a highly motivated runner who sought out what worked and when I found with it, I stuck with it. Now this is where the trouble starts. When you first start running it's OK to rely on the things that work best for you. You've gotta build the groundwork. As the miles go by along with the years you most likely will change physically, but you may still be thinking like the old you.
Take my back injury for example. I never thought that I would be the type of person to get that kind of injury. I was healthy. I exercised like a rock-star. Nonetheless it hit me hard and put the biggest brake on my running, personal and professional life. It wasn't fun by any means. But looking back I can now say that it was a good thing. It helped me realize that I'm not the same person that I was 13 years ago. Somewhere along all of those miles I changed.
Change for a runner and guy like me can be a really scary thing. Even the positive ones can sometimes terrify the shit out of you. So, I think that I built up a super sturdy wall and blocked all of those new things out running and living just like I always had. It worked really well up until when you have a lot of time on your hands and nothing to take your mind off all that stuff bouncing around between your ears.
No matter how fast I wished my back would heal so that I could get back out there my recovery was and still is painstakingly slow. I used to think that when people with these types of injuries described the recovery process like being a toddler learning to walk again that it sounded ridiculous. Well, now that I've enjoyed it myself, I can say that analogy is spot on. It really was like starting over again. Only this time I wasn't a new runner. I had 12 years of experience and over 25,000 miles under my belt. After some initial attempts at re-starting it became clearly evident that what used to apply wasn't going to work anymore. Luckily I just happened to be friends with the amazing Coach Judy Mick. I doesn't sound like being a guinea pig is all that great idea. But it's one of the best decisions that I've ever made!
On December 2, 2002 I started officially recording my runs. One of the best pieces of advice that I got from a veteran runner was to go to a running store and get fitted for the right pair of shoes. One of the first things that you learn when running is that just as varied as we are as individuals, are shoes should be too. What may work for me may not work for you with regards to running shoes. Price and flashy colors aren't always good indicators that a pair of running shoes is right for you. I can still remember going to one of our local running stores and going through my first shoe fitting. Looking back I was 12 pounds heavier and while not a complete couch potato, fitness wasn't something I embraced a whole heck of a lot. The store employee fitted me into a Brooks Beast size 10.5. Since then I've owned 28 different pairs. It really is a great shoe designed for heavier runners. It's what I like to call the Cadillac of the Brooks line. It costs about a million dollars a pair. But it's so sturdy that it'll give you maximum cushion, superior motion control and may even deflect bullets in emergencies.
After a lot of work over the winter and spring I'm finally back to being able to comfortably run some distance. I even managed to get some really good races under my belt and the running streak is restarted. Most of this is due to Coach Judy's guidance. Yes, I've done some things the same as I have in the past. But only after bouncing them off of her. We've tweaked stuff here and there. I think that it's been a learning experience for both of us. I'm just glad that she put up with my complaining when we first started!
So with all of this new change in mind I decided to take a leap and registered for my first marathon in two years. About three weeks ago Coach Judy started me on her marathon training plan. It's nothing like I'm used to. I now realize that I was running a lot of junk mileage back when I was self-trained. Much shorter runs (right now) coupled with some hills and speed-work are the name of the game.
As I hone in on my birthday in late August I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a little nervous. Shortly after that I'll mark one year since I got the back thing. Just in time before my comeback marathon. Most days are good. Some a little more challenging than others. What the future holds is sometimes terrifying.
But re-inventing yourself is never an easy thing. I'm not saying that you should forget the past and charge blindly into the future. What I'm saying is that I've failed more times than I can remember. It's OK to restart if you have to. Every day is an opportunity to judge what you learned making your mistakes against what works. It's also important to realize that what may work now, may not always work in the future.
So when those terrible things happen that knock you on the ground, dust yourself off, explore some new things, keep taking those big leaps of faith and try on a new pair of shoes. Hope is powerful thing. I may never be the runner that I once was. I may never be the same person. But I'll be trying my hardest wearing my first new pair of shoes in 13 years. Somewhere along those miles I out ran who I used to be and to realize that feels good. I'm someone new, someone different and it's time for a new way of looking at things. Smile, laugh and have a great run! I'll see you out there!
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