Deep down inside I've always had a ton respect for the people who I've see either training at my gym or running out on the roads who clearly have some sort of disability. Whether that's obesity, an injured limb or other physical limitation I always tried to be patient with them and gave them the extra time they needed. Now that I'm sort of one of them with my "Leaning Tower of Pisa" stature doing my own PT exercises, I have even more respect than before.
It's really entertaining to not be able to do simple things that you once could. It's hard to not laugh sometimes when these situations come up. I'll never take for granted being able to stand straight, run just a single mile or bend down to tie my running shoes. But I'm gonna get that stuff back. Just wait!
Another thing that I find hilarious is that when I do all of my required PT in the gym and walk, that I'm still there my usual length of time when I'm healthy. But the degree of difficulty is much lower. Even with the less challenging routine than I'm used to it's hard as hell. It hurts so much that when I'm done I'm shaking and sweating like a champ. My dedication was strong this week and I didn't miss a workout. The more I put into it, the more I'll get out of it. I don't think any of them got easier as the week went on. They just stayed the same, hard. I think that maybe walking an hour was a little too much because by the end of the week I was a cripple again and my spirits plummeted as a result. After some chastising from my "much smarter than me" wife, I relented and started taking the prescription pain and nerve medication again. She raised a lot of good points, chief among them was that the meds will allow my body to relax from the pain and take the added pressure off my non-injured muscles. I must admit that by today they did seem to help. They're not opiates or anything. But I just don't want to get addicted to something. I guess I just have to trust my doctor.
I've been keeping myself busy with minor things that have been on my to-do list since like forever. But the boredom is well, incredibly boring. I'm like a lonely puppy dog when my son gets off the bus or my wife wakes up. I think that I'm driving them a little nuts too. After 15 years working an un-regular law enforcement schedule it's hard to go back to a M-F normal life. But it does have it's incredible moments. The extra time I've gotten to spend with my family has been precious.
On Tuesday I'll be heading back to see my PT therapist. I'm really hoping she's got some different things for me to try, is impressed with my hard work and can explain to me why I'm leaning so much. On a couple of days I over-extended myself. Gotta try to nip that in the butt. If my back keeps on maintaining it's current level of pain, then I think that I'm going to go through with a second round of x-ray guided steroid injections in another week. They were incredibly painful. But offered a bit of relief. So it'll be worth the pain.
I joined a FB group for back pain suffers. I know how cliche that sounds. But the group's been amazingly supportive. It's nice to have someone to talk to who has as much free-time as me and similar injuries. I was pretty down on myself about this whole situation and my wife along with them smacked me around back into my senses. I've made good progress in a very short time as everyone's pointed out. The outstanding theme is TIME. It's just going to take time for this to heal. Unfortunately patience isn't one of my strong suits. Which is funny because I've trained a gazillion weeks and months to run my 12 marathons. You'd think I'd be good at it. But I'm pathetically a novice.
To combat the stress and frustration I've started to do some research on meditation. I'm no stranger to alternative schools of medicine and thinking. I dabbled with mediation when I practiced Hatha yoga years ago. I've got some basic skills but this situation requires more than I know. I've been in touch with my friend Adam, aka Zen Runner, about this. He's one of the inwardly strongest people that I know and he's not called Zen Runner for nothing. Thanks bro for being there when I really needed you! I'll be putting in some time this week to look inside myself a little more. Something that I need to do. I've kind of taken the attitude that this situation was thrust on me so that I can do just that, make myself a stronger person inside. I already know how to work on the outside!
I hope that you had a great week. I look forward to more hard work this week and hopefully more improvements. I'm still not giving up. Saw this and thought that it was perfect for this week:
"Difficult times disrupt your conventional ways of thinking and push you to forge better habits of thought, performance and being." Robin Sharma
Good stuff! Have a great week and let me know how you let your hair down and relax after a long day!
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